We've had quite enough, now!
Winter has entered its 18th consecutive fucking month, the Met Office has confirmed.The Daily Mash
With sleet, rain and snow forecast for the weekend, meteorologists have admitted that the weather is so cold that it has frozen time itself, with no thaw in sight.
A Met Office spokesman said: “It’s March now, but that’s just what we call the month. It makes no difference to it still being winter.
“The time dilation effect caused by the absolute brass-bollock weather we’re suffering means that winter has gone on forever and will continue to go on forever, until all we can remember is winter.
“Occasionally it will merely piss it down while not being absolutely freezing, and we’ll all be pathetically grateful for two days before it returns to being utterly foul with an Arctic wind.”
Martin Bishop of Cleveland said: “We’re British. Winter is the only season we deserve.”
Of course.
As we suffer, once again, miserable freezing conditions and can merely watch as all our potted plants shrivel and die, we desperately need something - or someone - to bring us a bit of cheer.
And who better to do it than that stalwart of British entertainment [and very cute when he was young], Mr Kenny Lynch, who celebrates his 80th birthday today?
Groovy.
Many happy returns, Kenny Lynch, OBE (born 18th March 1938)!
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